Everyone knows that song…c’mon, you know what song.
I dare you to moooooveeee. I dare you to mooooveeee. I daree youuu to liffft yourself up off the floorrr.
If you’ve never sang that song drunk at 2am with all of your best friends around you, are you even a real functioning member of society?
But that’s not the point. Moving on.
Move is such a universal term. There are so many definitions you can associate with that one simple word. Move can be objective, an adjective, a noun, an adverb, an emotion…
I’ve been writing a lot about love recently but to be honest, it’s been really exhausting. A lot of people reached out after my last post for advice and you guys know I will give advice until my voice runs out…but for the sake of my own sanity, and because I can’t not do it, I’m going to throw in my two cents about love and then move the fuck on: Move and love are one letter off from one another. If you want me to love you, you have to move me. Move me physically, move me mentally, or move me emotionally. Bring something to the table. I promise that I’ll do the same.
Here’s how my mind works: I give a very short window to see if someone is worth my time. Whether you’re someone that I’m interested in, or just a friend in general, you typically get 3-7 days. And it doesn’t really matter how long I’ve known this person: it applies to people I’ve known for 8 years but also people I’ve known for 8 months but also people I’ve known for 8 weeks but also people I’ve known for 8 days. If you miss that 7-day window, my mind sort of just shuts you out. I don’t know why I’m like this. I guess my life moves too fast for me to dwell in the past and too many people play games for me to keep up. I’m not going to succumb to the bullshit so I just avoid it altogether. Anyone worth having in your life will prove it right away anyway. If they don’t, someone else will. And do you really want to be surrounded by people that aren’t all in? You can say yes, but that’s your prerogative. Personally, I’d like to be constantly surrounded by people who ignite me on some level deep in my soul. My best friends in this entire world are constantly teaching me. They’re constantly making me a better person. They’re constantly keeping me honest. Why would you settle for less?
Okay, so there you go. Let’s cross love off the list.
Now, let’s talk about you. Or me. Or us. Fuck it, we’ll just talk about all of it.
This past week I started to move to Hoboken. The actual conversation I had with my mom as I was moving was as follows: Mom: “Your apartment is so gorgeous!” *Tears start to form* “I’m just so proud of you! *actual tears start to fall* “But I just don’t think of you as moving out. I just think of you as not living in my house Monday-Friday. Because you’ll be home on weekends, right? It’s the summer and we have a pool.” *said totally straight-faced*
Aaaand that’s mom logic in a nutshell.
Anyway, if any of you remember, I was doing something pretty similar to that at this same time last year. If you don’t, no worries…here’s a quick recap: Moving Out and Moving On: How to Cope with Post-Grad Life.
I’ve been very fortunate that my life seems to give me restarts exactly when I need them. This move to Hoboken sort of just fell into place. It got to a point where I just couldn’t deal with the process anymore, so I took a step back. There were multiple moving parts in my life that I felt like I didn’t have control over anymore so I threw my hands up and let Jesus take the wheel. And then I swore to myself that I wouldn’t interfere. I kept my mouth shut and let everything proceed without any of my input whatsoever.
I’m not typically like this. I like having all of the answers and I like being in control. But for some reason, this time I knew it wasn’t my place to be like that. My entire life changed in the matter of 5 minutes. I had to let it.
I talk about this concept a lot: the concept of moving.
Here’s why: There is no such thing as stagnancy. You’re either moving forward or you’re moving backward. You’re either progressing or you’re regressing. Life is never at a standstill, and neither are you. “Life goes on,” and so do you.
I used to ride horses. My trainer would always tell me, “you better fall.” This took me a long time to understand. I would answer, “why would I fall? I want to be perfect.” She would just smile at me.
Now I understand.
One of my favorite quotes is, “challenge your balance.” First of all, even as an athlete, I have god awful balance…but that’s not the point.
Your balance is your comfort zone. In order to grow, you need to expand outside of that zone. We train to get better. Those training sessions are designed to push the limits of our muscles, both the mental ones and physical ones. Why not also push the limits of your comfort zone? The only way to get better is to make yourself uncomfortable. If you’re never challenged, you’ll never grow.
Listen, I really can’t tell you what to do but at the end of the day, you can go two ways: fall or be careful. Actually, I take that back. I am going to tell you what to do: Let yourself fall. No one ever lived a successful life being careful (being careful and being tactical are two different beasts, but we can tackle that in another blog post). So, take the risk. Liam Hemsworth recently sat down with GQ Australia and said, “I guess when I feel something, then I just feel it and I go for it. I make my decisions about what’s going to make me happy, what I think is right and what I want to do – and I don’t worry too much outside of that.” Couldn’t have said it any better myself, LH. So if it makes you happy, it’s worth it to go full throttle. You will never know unless you try. So try. Whatever your heart is feeling, follow that. Of course there will be some trepidation. But stay true to yourself and don’t hold back. Nothing ever worth having comes easily. Do everything in your power to make it work, fight for it, and if it does work out, then it will be beautiful. But if it doesn’t, then you will know that you did all that you could and it was to no fault of your own.
So challenge your balance.
(And to my Gaels, move the world).